Not an Onion headline: Unwed Bristol Palin to be on Celebrity Wife Swap

“I just think that God provides opportunities like this, and you can either go out and do them or not do them,” said Bristol Palin when asked why she would continually submit herself to criticism by appearing on the second season of Dancing with the Stars.

Apparently, God continues to giveth and God taketh away. Baby daddy’s for one. Dignity for another. Here’s the latest:

Reality-TV staple Bristol Palin (daughter of Sarah, of course) and comedienne/plastic surgery connoisseur Joan Rivers will trade households on “Swap,” with Joan and daughter Melissa bundling up and heading to chilly Wasilla, Alaska for a week, and Bristol and sister Willow moving into Joan’s Hollywood home. (Didn’t we already see Bristol try to make it in L.A., you ask? Yes, it was called “Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp,” and no one watched.)